Hi guys, I hope you've all had a great week.
Today's post is not going to be makeup-based (whaaat?!) so if that's your main interest, you can check out my March Favourites!
Being a girl can be really really difficult sometimes and a lot of that comes from the kind of relationships we have with other women. As most of you have probably been through at least middle school, you'll know that sometimes we can be a little crazy. If you're currently in middle school or high school and thinking to yourself "I can't wait until we all grow up and this is over", I've got a bit of sad new for you: it doesn't end.
I promise, I'm really not trying to be a downer; in fact this is meant to be more of a little pep talk.
I know that most of us hope that as we get older, we mature and those little things that we fight about won't be a problem anymore and in many cases, that's true. But not everyone grows up. For reference, I'm almost 20, I've been in university for a couple of years, and on occasion, I still deal with these issues. I am by no means any sort of friendship expert but I've had a pretty solid group of friends for most of my life for which I am endlessly grateful. I know there are a few things that I wish I'd known when I was navigating the murky waters of adolescent friendships so I thought I'd share some with you. Obviously, every relationship is different but I find if you remember a few of these things, you'll not only be happier in your friendships, but in your life.
Mean Girls is basically the perfect example of girl-world
People Aren't Out to Get You.
Honestly, it's such an exhausting way to live when you think that people are acting specifically to hurt you. For example, you see a friend at the mall and wave, but she doesn't wave back. It's so easy to get in the cycle of negative thought that says "oh she's ignoring me" "What did I do to make her angry?" and "That b**** hates me- probably just because I didn't pick her to be my lab partner". What a waste of energy! In all honesty, she probably just didn't see you. If you give people the benefit of the doubt, you will genuinely be happier. If they prove you wrong, that's another thing but honestly, it's so much easier to trust people until they give you a reason not to
Don't Get Caught in a Hate-Spiral!
I know, girls talk. We love to gossip and assess things and talk them through. Honestly, there is nothing wrong with that. But all of that analyzing and discussion can lead to what I call a hate-spiral. For example, your friend is late to meet you at the movies. The next day, you talk about it with another friend who chimes in her opinion about how lateness is so disrespectful. A few minutes later, your tardy friend is suddenly a selfish b**** with no regard for anyone's feelings. If you feel this kind of thing escalating just stop, take a breather and change the subject. Chances are if you have some time to cool off and think, you can avoid making an enemy. If you do have a problem with a friend's behaviour, discuss it with that friend! Maybe your friend is living their life completely unaware that you're beginning to consider them an enemy. Having a quick conversation about how you're feeling can give them a chance to shed some light on their perspective.
Look at cute animal pictures to calm yourself down. Or better yet, spend some time petting one (if you're not allergic). This one's mine.
Friendship is Not a Test!
Friends are companions. They're people you laugh with, cry with, lean on, and share important moments with. But they're also human. This also goes with giving people the benefit of the doubt but your relationships are for your mutual enjoyment. Being your friend is not some magical privilege- people make mistakes. If you test someone who is completely unaware that they're doing anything to upset you, you're probably not going to like the result.
Always Keep Your Head.
It never, ever looks bad if you're the reasonable one in a fight. If you do end up in a fight with a friend, don't say anything that could come back to bite you. Calling people names and throwing blame around will just make you look like a hothead. Imagine how silly they're going to look when they lose their temper but you stay relaxed. If someone is blaming you for something that you honestly don't feel is necessary just say "I'm sorry you feel that way but..." and then state your perspective. You always want to be the person that never has a bad word to say about anyone. People will trust you endlessly and your friendships will last much longer. My rule is that I have something bad to say about someone, I tell it to my mom. If you have someone in your life that is completely removed from the situation like your mom, sister, grandmother, etc., those are the people you want to vent to. Even a journal can be helpful. Chances are, you just need to get it out of your system but you don't want to say something you'll regret- people don't forget that kind of thing.
I think this post has been long enough so I'm going to leave it at that. I really hope this was helpful to some of you, even if you aren't going through this sort of thing right now. If you are going through friendship problems at the moment, I know it completely sucks but I promise, it all works out just fine.
I know this was quite out of the ordinary so I hope you don't mind too much- I'll be back to doing beauty posts right away!
As always, I'd love to hear any comments you have.
Kendall
x
Just to end things on a good note, here are some animal friends
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